The Ultimate Guide to Recognizing Fake Friends

fake friends

 

A true friend is the icing on the cake. He makes life better. A fake friend can weigh you down, make you feel bad, and drain you. If you suspect a fake friend in your circle of friends, find out for sure by noticing some behaviors and communication habits. Then do your best to stay away from him so you have more room for fulfilling, genuine friendships in your life.

Behavior

Does your boyfriend disappoint you regularly?

Fake friends often lie, break promises, or disappoint you when you need them most. How was the friendship in the past weeks or months? Did your friend stand you up often? If that’s the case, then he could be a fake friend. If your friend keeps disappointing you, then you need to decide which is the best option. You can lower your expectations or let him go completely.

EXPERT COUNCIL Clinical Social Worker Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker in Ohio. She received her Masters in Social Work from Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. Klare Heston, LCSW Clinical Social Worker Knowing who your real friends are is also important. Licensed clinical social worker Clare Heston explains: “A really good friend is someone who is there for you in both good times and bad. They accept you for who you are, encourage you and believe in you. They should also be honest with their opinions say, but respect when you make your own decisions. He should also be accepting of your other friends and family.”

Notice the “I, I, I” behavior.

How do you feel during and after spending time with this friend? Do you often feel overlooked or ignored because he always has to be the focus of every conversation or decision? If that’s the case, then the friend may not have your best interest in mind. You should feel better around friends, not oppressed or upset. If your friend is only focusing on themselves, then they want an audience, not friendship. However, keep in mind that your friend might just need some time to grow up. He may even be open to gentle constructive criticism. For example, try saying something like, “Sometimes I get a little frustrated when we’re together and just talking about what’s going on in your life. I feel like you don’t take the time to listen to me.”

Is he neglecting you?

Kindness and compassion are at the core of a good friendship. If your friend is exhibiting some unsavory behaviors, reconsider the relationship. For example, if your friend argues with you often and always expects you to apologize, that would be one such behavior. This is not a healthy, balanced friendship. Your boyfriend isn’t there for you when you need him most, like during a breakup when he’d rather go to a party.

Look for signs that he supports you and your interests.

Are you important to the friend as a person? If that’s the case, then he comes to your orchestra rehearsals and asks you how the cheearleader casting was. He thinks about your birthday and other important events. If your friend downplays your interests, laughs at them, or never gets around to doing something important to you, then they’re not supporting you.

Does he accept your mistakes or hold them against you?

Everybody makes mistakes. A good friend gives you a break and doesn’t constantly remind you of everything you’re doing wrong. If the conversations are an endless loop of your flaws or flaws, then put distance between that person and you. If you hurt your friend, don’t expect them to just forgive you. But he shouldn’t blame you for the mistakes forever. Otherwise you feel bad when you are with him.

Is he trying to blame you?

Real friends understand that sometimes you are busy and don’t have time for them. If your friend is trying to make you feel bad because you say no and don’t have time for them, then they are not a true friend. Everyone gets busy sometimes, so you shouldn’t be penalized if you don’t always have time. Does this friend expect you to always have time for them, but doesn’t always have time for you?

Communication problems

Is he listening to you or are you just listening to him?

Listening carefully is important for strong relationships of any kind. If you make an effort to listen to your friend but he doesn’t listen to you, then he is not a sincere friend. Does he interrupt you when you’re talking to him? Does he ignore what you say and change the subject? Maybe you tell your friend big news. A fake friend doesn’t want to hear them, they only want to talk about themselves.

and see if he respects her.

To test your friend’s sincerity, you can set boundaries about friendship and see how they react. An authentic friend accepts and respects your personal boundaries. For example, say, “Hey, I can’t hang out with you on Thursdays anymore. I really need to study more for chemistry.” or “Can’t we talk about sex? It makes me uncomfortable?” If the person oversteps the boundaries or ignores them entirely, then they are not a true friend.

Watch for signs of jealousy.

Some friends are best friends as long as you’re on the same page. When you get better at something, that person will flex their claws. If he bitches, taunts, or rolls his eyes when you’re successful, then he’s not a true friend. Other signs of jealousy include feeling like your boyfriend is always competing with you, never pats you on the back, and you need to include him in everything so he doesn’t feel left out. A jealous friend can become possessive if you spend time with others. A true friend should never try to isolate you from other friends or family.

Watch out for passive-aggressive tendencies.

Does he say “okay” when asked to do you a favor, but never do it later? Do you feel like he’s subtly sabotaging you? If that describes your friend, then it’s a passive-aggressive trait that can get in the way of real friendship. You can’t change these passive-aggressive tendencies, so don’t bother trying. Instead, keep your distance from such fake friends and talk to them confidently when you need to interact with them.

Did your secrets come out?

Do your secrets come out regularly and do you tell them to exactly one person? If that’s the case, then you have a fake friend by your side. Test the person’s loyalty by telling them a little “secret” and asking them to keep it to themselves. If you hear about it elsewhere, then you know who is responsible. If your friend is gossiping about other “friends” with you, then he might be gossiping about you, too.

Do you often hear from that one?

Is your friend always in contact with you? It varies from relationship to relationship, but most good friends stay in touch. Is he calling to update you or just to ask you a favor? If you only hear from that friend when they need something, then they are not a genuine friend.

Sincere friendships

Evaluate the relationship with fake friends.

Do you want to keep hanging out with a fake friend? How do you feel about that one? Does he give your life something positive? If not, then ending the friendship is in your best interest. Talk to others you trust too. Ask a parent, older sibling, or trusted friend about breaking up with a fake friend.

Talk to the friend

Tell your fake friend what you noticed about his behavior. Be clear about how his actions have affected you. Decide based on the reaction. If he apologizes and wants to change, give him another chance. If he denies the behavior or becomes hostile, end the friendship.

Lower your expectations so you don’t get hurt.

To avoid investing too much time and energy in making fake friends, lower your expectations of certain people. By lowering your standards, you don’t always feel left behind and ignored. You can still have these people in your life, but don’t put too much time and effort into these relationships. For example, classify this friend as “Aquaintance”. If you see him like that, then you don’t really care if he doesn’t call on your birthday.

Spend time with people with whom you share interests and values.

Meet new people with the same interests by volunteering, taking a new class, or joining a club. As you hang out with these new people, pay attention to how they act to see if they share the same values ​​as you. For example, if friends are a priority for you, see if they value face-to-face interactions over virtual ones. The person is not constantly distracted by their cell phone. If honesty is important to you, then pay attention to whether your friend is lying or withholding information about himself.

Gradually share personal information with new friends.

Turn acquaintances into close friends by opening up. Do this carefully and gradually. You don’t want to risk sharing something too intimate with someone who isn’t a true friend. For example, first talk about your career goals to find out how he reacts and whether he shares his goals. As confidence grows, you can share more intimate information, like details about your health. Not only are you protecting your own interests, but gradually opening yourself up is also the healthiest way to start new relationships. It’s unusual for you to learn a person’s deepest and darkest secrets within the first few weeks.

 

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